Men are from Mars; women are from Venus. At least, that’s how the popular saying goes and sometimes I begin to wonder if it isn’t true. We have so much in common with each other because of our human nature, but the minute differences in the biology and societal expectations of the genders causes so much confusion and stress between us. If one is particularly good at navigating these sorts of issues, they can avoid many of the pitfalls that come with engaging with the opposite sex. For the rest of us, it is a struggle.
As a man, I struggle to cope with the many variables that come out of a relationship with a woman. Men in general don’t really deal much in emotions, preferring to base their lives and plans and just about anything else on cold, logical thought. We obviously have feelings and they come out on a semi-regular basis, but when it comes to what we’re going to do and how we’re going to approach it, the answer almost exclusively depends on what makes the most sense. Practicality is the average man’s bread and butter.
On the other hand, women tend to move their way through the world based on how they feel. The answer to their problems could be right there staring them in the face, but they’re just incapable of seeing it because the veil of heightened emotion is obscuring their vision. A woman’s world is one of heart, relationships being only slightly less important than basic necessities like food or water or air. The roiling ocean of emotions that is the woman’s heart rules her decisions, and most of the time only chaos can ensue from it.
Men have the ability to calm those turbulent waters if they can learn the process, but it is a difficult skill to acquire. As primarily task or goal driven creatures, it is quite unnatural for us to navigate the treacherous seas of the female heart. Regardless of our intentions, we will most of the time come off as being cold and uncaring. This obviously isn’t true, but perception is reality when it comes to a woman. If she decides you don’t care, then from her standpoint you simply don’t.
Some men are better at dealing with all of this than others, but I certainly don’t fall into this category. I fall toward the more cold and logical end of the spectrum, even for a man. My emotions don’t typically get wrapped up the way that many people do, and because of this I struggle with empathy. My sentiment tends to be something like “here’s your solution; stop whining and figure it out”. Most men tend to think this way, but many have the patience not to act it out, preferring to just subjugate themselves to female whim rather than deal with the consequences of upsetting her. I have no such patience.
Because of this, I have and always will struggle with relationships. Men in general tend to become stressed out by their own emotions, and much more by the vastly stronger and more violent feelings exhibited by women. We like order and peace, and most women are anything but. No matter how many times you try to explain that things would just be better if they calm down and think more logically, they just aren’t capable of it. Not really. In the end, emotion always wins.
There are exceptions to every rule, and I’m sure there will be a few members of the opposite sex who read this and completely disagree. At least, they will disagree with the idea of being ruled by their emotions. I will obviously grant them this, but in my several decades of experience what I have put to digital paper seems to be the truth. Women are emotional creatures and most men struggle with it. A man can either learn to deal with it or he can walk away. The one problem is that we end up getting caught by the one emotion that drives away logic: love.
What do you think about the differences between men and women? Do they cause any issues for you in your personal life? Are your relationships with the opposite sex strong and healthy, or do some of the issues written here plague you just as badly? Or worse? Very little in life is easy, and relationships are near the top of the difficult column. It is up to each of us to decide how we’re going to proceed, and the consequences of our choices affect not only us, but the people we allow into our lives. In the end, all you can be is you.